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Eh? Are Drake's albums compilation albums nowadays? Anyway, there are eight new records in this week's red area. Clean Bandit ft. Zara Larsson's new in at #6 with Symphony, while Bruno Mars has risen to #25 with That's What I Like and Drake's new in at #4, #9, #14, #17, #24, #27, #31, #32, #35, #36, #37, #39, #42, #51, #54, #55, #58, #61, #62, #63 and #65 this week. Whew! He released More Life on the 18th, and all its tracks are on the charts; Fake Love from the same album but released last year, has risen to #43, while he's also at #81 with One Dance. For the purposes of this site, we are predominantly interested with those first six: Passionfruit (#4), KMT ft. Giggs (#9), Blem (#14), No Long Talk ft. Giggs (#17), Get It Together ft. Black Coffee & Jorja Smith (#24) and Portland ft. Quavo ft. Travis Scott (#27).

We were really annoyed by the first two new entries this week, both for different reasons. After finding ourself a minute in without any singing or rapping, we thought Drake's Passionfruit would be a five-minute instrumental like Macklemore & Ryan Lewis' BomBom. Instead, it's a laid-back dancehall-tinged track with gently fluttering drums and succulent, almost seductive beat behind it. It's sweet, with just the right amount of tartness to it – much like passionfruit itself. Symphony by Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson annoyed us for a different reason; we were promised some grandiose chorus in the promos, and we do eventually get it, but the problem is the rest of the record sounds so anaemic that the powerful choruses just feel like too much in one sitting; going straight from the second chorus on to the near-silent third verse feels like a nasty sugar crash. I must also say that Clean Bandit produce their best stuff when they collaborate with unknowns – Sharna Bass' smoky vocals fit Extraordinary like a glove, while the then unknown Jess Glynne was perfect for Rather Be – and frankly Larsson's vocals are much too strong for this. Come on, give me someone I haven't heard of. I want to see a new star being born.

Next at #9, Drake's KMT ft. Giggs is a rougher track, and while Drake sounds entirely at home, Giggs' comedic lyrics are at best highly irritating and at worst bathos. I must say I was surprised to read that the song contains a sample from His World from SONIC THE HEDGEHOG because in our day Sonic the Hedgehog music sounded like Sunset Park Zone Act 3, and we reckon that in the chord progression of that chorus somewhere there's a hit. Blem (#13) is an irresistible combination of the same sort of dancehall-inspired riffs that made Passionfruit, though despite being a minute shorter it feels much longer because much more goes on, and the lyrics are more repetitive. In addition, there's room at the end for a verse from Lil Wayne, rather than a perfunctory introduction, and it would have been better if he had been integrated properly. We also don't like the slip before the second verse.

And I thought Giggs couldn't get any more annoying. No Long Talk (#17) also features the man, and though he speeds up, these lyrics are graphic, and if that's what a long talk is, then you can see why he Drake's calling for No Long Talk. I can't fault Drake's verse nor the trap beat, though. Get It Together with Black Coffee & Jorja Smith (#24) is basically an updated version of Black Coffee's Superman with Jorja Smith replacing Bucie on the verses and Drake singing a different chorus; while Smith is a worthy replacement for Bucie, Drake sounds like an old man interrupting a confessional. There was no excuse for muffling the instrumental when he begins his chorus, it's as though he's torn off one of your earphones because you were ignoring him no matter how good the reason for it. Otherwise, Smith's mournful vocals over the Parisian-style jazz beat might have made for one of the best records this site has ever reviewed.

Alright, I can't put this off any longer. At #25 this week is Bruno Mars' That's What I Like, and good for him, for it isn't what we like. There's a particular hamfisted driving force about it which may be to some people's taste, but for us is the equivalent of slapping our face until we're awake and continuing until it's red raw. I wonder what The Big Bopper would make of it? Because it was probably around the time of his existence that panpipes were last in a hit record, like they are in Portland ft. Quavo & Travis Scott (#27), and although Quavo's autotuned vocals are about as welcome as Trump might be to a Black Lives Matter movement, Drake really does sound like he's enjoying himself, and you feel relaxed just listening to it.

We regret to chronicle the death of Chuck Berry from a heart attack at 90, best known for his number one single My Ding-a-Ling. He shouldn't be. He should have been best known for his rock 'n' roll records, such as My Particular Place to Go (#3). Many of his records were hits when covered; Let it Rock was a B-side to Brown Sugar by The Rolling Stones (#2), while Elvis would take his cover of Promised Land to #9. The best version of Memphis Tennessee (which was a double-A side with Let it Rock) was the instrumental version by Lonnie Mack, the fact that only charted at #47 after being a double A side with Chris Montez was the greatest travesty of the entire 1970s.

    1. Shape Of You
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Galway Girl
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Castle on the Hill
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Passionfruit
    1. (Drake)
    1. Something Just Like This
    1. (Chainsmokers ft. Coldplay)
    1. Symphony
    1. (Clean Bandit ft. Zara Larsson)
    1. Perfect
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Solo Dance
    1. (Martin Jensen)
    1. KMT
    1. (Drake ft. Giggs)
    1. Ciao Adios
    1. (Anne-Marie)
    1. New Man
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Stay
    1. (Zedd ft. Alessia Cara)
    1. Chained to the Rhythm
    1. (Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley)
    1. Blem
    1. (Drake)
    1. You Don't Know Me
    1. (Jax Jones ft. Raye)
    1. Happier
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. No Long Talk
    1. (Drake ft. Giggs)
    1. Slide
    1. (Calvin Harris ft. Frank Ocean & Migos)
    1. It Ain't Me
    1. (Kygo ft. Selena Gomez)
    1. Human
    1. (Rag'n'Bone Man)
    1. What Do I Know?
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Supermarket Flowers
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Dive
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Get It Together
    1. (Drake ft. Black Coffee & Jorja Smith)
    1. That's What I Like
    1. (Bruno Mars)
    1. Barcelona
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Portland
    1. (Drake ft. Quavo & Travis Scott)
    1. Issues
    1. (Julia Michaels)
    1. Nancy Mulligan
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Scared to be Lonely
    1. (Martin Garrix ft. Dua Lipa)
    1. Big For Your Boots
    1. (Stormzy)
    1. How Would You Feel (Paean)
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Paris
    1. (Chainsmokers ft. Emily Warren)
    1. Touch
    1. (Little Mix)
    1. Be the One
    1. (Dua Lipa)
    1. Hearts Don't Break Around Here
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Bibia Be Ye Ye
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Cold
    1. (Maroon 5 ft. Future)
    1. September Song
    1. (JP Cooper)
    1. Eraser
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. Call on Me
    1. (Starley)
    1. Places
    1. (Martin Solveig ft. Ina Wroldsen)
    1. I Don't Wanna Live Forever
    1. (Zayn ft. Taylor Swift)
    1. Rockabye
    1. (Clean Bandit ft. Anne-Marie & Sean Paul)
    1. Save Myself
    1. (Ed Sheeran)
    1. I Feel It Coming
    1. (Weeknd ft. Daft Punk)
    1. Skin
    1. (Rag'n'Bone Man)
    1. Run Up
    1. (Major Lazer ft. PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj)
    1. No Lie
    1. (Sean Paul ft. Dua Lipa)
    1. I Would Like
    1. (Zara Larsson)
    1. Say You Won't Let Go
    1. (James Arthur)
    1. Closer
    1. (Chainsmokers ft. Halsey)
    1. Beauty and the Beast
    1. (Ariana Grande & John Legend)
    1. Starboy
    1. (Weeknd ft. Daft Punk)
    1. Swalla
    1. (Jason Derulo ft. Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign)
    1. Sexual
    1. (Neiked)
    1. Can't Stop the Feeling
    1. (Justin Timberlake)
    1. Shout Out to My Ex
    1. (Little Mix)
    1. Believer
    1. (Imagine Dragons)
    1. All Night
    1. (Vamps ft. Matoma)
    1. Text From Your Ex
    1. (Tinie Tempah ft. Tinashe)
    1. Starving
    1. (Hailee Steinfeld ft. Grey & Zedd)
    1. 24K Magic
    1. (Bruno Mars)
    1. Don't Leave
    1. (Snakehips & MØ)
    1. The Greatest
    1. (Sia ft. Kendrick Lamar)
    1. Now and Later (Sage the Gemini) • Cold (Stormzy) • Samantha (Dave ft. J Hus) • By Your Side (Jonas Blue ft. Raye) • Love (Lana Del Rey) • Let Me Love You (DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber) • Don't Wanna Know (Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar) • Bad Things (Machine Gun Kelly ft. Camila Cabello) • Bad Boys (Stormzy ft. Ghetts & J Hus) • The Mack (Nevada ft. Mark Morrison & Fetty Wap) • Don't Let Me Down (Chainsmokers ft. Daya)

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